


no father of mine

by 14crushed



Series: exploring the possibilities [3]
Category: Henry Stickmin Series (Video Games)
Genre: Background Copperright and Svenry, Complicated Family Problems, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Post-Toppat 4 Life Ending | T4L, Toppat Clan Adopted Henry Stickmin, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29691789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/14crushed/pseuds/14crushed
Summary: Reginald nods in understanding, turning to Terrence. “Why are you here?”“I wanted to see Henry,” he admits. “I heard you became the leader. I wanted to catch up after everything. I thought that they hadn’t… told you.”“You were wrong,” Henry replies.“I know.”-Terrence comes face-to-face with his son and the consequences of his actions.
Relationships: Henry Stickmin & Terrence Suave
Series: exploring the possibilities [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115336
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	no father of mine

**Author's Note:**

> i have never been a fan of outright manipulative terrence so instead here's terrence who fucked up way too many times and knows it. 
> 
> CW for drowning at the very end

He’s back where he isn’t meant to be. Crazy how things turn out.

Before the orbital station project ever existed, the Toppat Clan used to have extremely cramped prison cells on the airship. He doesn't remember which leader was responsible for that decision, or why they made that decision, but it has pretty much stayed that way for decades to come. Luckily, the Toppats rarely ever held prisoners, and the ones they did hold never stayed for long. The last guy was an exception, though, because he stayed for a little too long and the new leader was a little too soft to have him killed.

Whatever. It hardly matters now. Terrence will just have to talk to him about that later.

Cell space on the orbital station was much more comfortable now; a big improvement from what Terrence was stuck in at The Wall. Enough space to walk around freely and stretch out all he wants. Completely soundproof, so if he's ever dying nobody has to hear him. And the view of Earth from here is just lovely! He has to give Reginald some points for that, or whoever it was that designed the cells to be so much more hospitable than before. He hopes it isn’t Reginald.

The cuffs are a real joykill, though. Like, come on, the prisoners on the airship never needed handcuffs, so why did he? It’s not like he’s dangerous and unpredictable. He _probably_ wouldn't try anything against Reginald or his right hand if he saw them. If it was Thomas or Sven, he wouldn't even make an attempt. And as for their new leader…

Well, Terrence harbors no ill will against him. Far from it. He just prays that the feeling is mutual.

“...And you're serious about the man you saw at the raid being… _him?”_ an incoming voice inquires. Ah, Reggie, his favorite least-favorite subordinate. Terrence has fond memories of his stupid, uppity voice, but it’s such a shame those had to be soured by it being the last thing he heard before waking up inside The Wall. Whatever, it’s water under the bridge after ten-odd years.

“Absolutely certain, sir,” says a certain Swedish someone else. Not as many fond memories as he once had with Reginald, but not as many bad ones either. He wonders if he still holds that crush on the new leader from their childhood years, or if it ever became something else. “Seems like he went out of his way to interfere, too. Luckily, he's just a nuisance at best, so we were able to carry on without his interruptions and captured him.”

Wow. “A nuisance at best.” He'd be heartbroken if that wasn't his intention.

Reginald groans outside of his cell. “Lord, even when he's overthrown he manages to make everything worse. Ugh… no matter. I’ll see what he wants. I’ll call my right hand if things get awful and I feel like I’m half a second away from mauling him.”

“Are you certain you don't want to call the boss here?” 

“I don't want to subject Henry to see _him_ of all people. If it comes down to it, though… just make sure he's ready before he comes down here, alright?”

Terrence doesn't see him leave, but he can hear Sven’s footsteps growing distant. He chuckles to himself at the prospect of having alone time with Reginald after so long. This’ll be fun.

A window opens on his door with Reginald standing in front of it, arms crossed and a hard glare in his direction. Seems he's lost a bit of his glamour over the years. Not all of it, though.

“Appreciate you getting rid of my hat after all those years, sweetheart,” Terrence starts.

Reginald picks up a walkie-talkie and speaks into it, “Right Hand Man, come to the brig.”

Well, so much for alone time.

Right walks into the brig and stands by Reginald. He's almost completely different from the Right that Terrence remembers; his cybernetics covering up half his face would've made him near unrecognizable if it weren't for his handlebar mustache and red hair.

“Suave,” Right acknowledges him. His voice is near unrecognizable, too.

“Rhy-” Terrence starts, and is then immediately cut off by Right punching a hole through the door, startling him out of what he was going to say.

“Right! Right. The Right Hand Man! That's your name! Wonderful to see you again,” Terrence rambles to convince them he wasn't going to say anything else. He laughs off his unease. “Wow. Really great space station you guys have built, huh? Big fan of how I can see Earth from here! A lot homier than the cells on the airship, wouldn't you say?”

Neither of them say anything back to him. They keep glaring.

“Man, you guys are really quiet today. Except I know you're not, because I just heard Reggie talking to Sven not too long ago,” Terrence winks in Reginald’s direction. “How is that kid, anyways? It’s been a while since I’ve seen him, does he still have that crush on-”

“Why are you here.”

Wow. Didn't even hesitate, did he? Of course not. Reginald never hesitated to put business over feelings when it came to him. Whatever.

“What, no ‘hi’ or ‘how are you’ or ‘sorry I locked you up in The Wall for over ten years’?” Terrence mocks. “Reggie, you truly wound me. Can you at least pretend you care about me just for a little?”

“I would rather die,” Reginald spits. “Tell me why you tried to find us. Now.”

“Oh, come on, Reggie. Don't you already know? It’s been so long since I’ve seen everyone. I wanna catch up, you know?” He sighs, letting out a low laugh. “I _especially_ want to see-”

“Absolutely not,” Right interrupts. “You can't be that stupid to think we’d let you see him so easily, now. What reason do you think you deserve to be in his life again?”

“Well, for starters, I’m his _dad_ -”

“But did you raise him?” Reginald interjects. “I seem to recall you just gave him up to a random orphanage because you were too much of a coward to raise a kid on your own. At the very least you should have just left him with whoever the other parent was until he was old enough to be on the airship, hm?”

“I _was_ planning on taking him back-”

“After eight years? Six of which were spent at that orphanage?”

“But _you_ guys-”

“ _You_ changed his legal name just so there would be no connection between you two. Is that the way you wanted to raise your son, Terrence?”

Terrence doesn't fire back. The facade breaks as fast as he put it on.

No, it wasn't. He never wanted to do the things he did after his son was born. He shouldn’t have done the things he did. But for all he wanted to flaunt his position and the riches he's acquired from his reign as leader, he is truly just a coward beneath it all. He couldn't lead an organization. He couldn't raise a child. But it’s easier to make his problems into everyone else’s just so he never has to face the consequences of his own faults.

And Reginald, who he still thinks of so fondly despite everything, was the only person he knew that could handle what he'd pile up on his plate. He just wished that the pile hadn’t included Henry.

“Please, just… Just let me see him again, Reginald. That's all I’m asking,” Terrence pleads. “I don’t want another chance at being in the clan. I just want to see my son.”

The quiet nearly kills him. Their gazes on him are fixed, with Right’s remaining as deadly as ever and Reginald’s being more judgemental than outright dangerous. They've always been like this, even before they joined the Toppats—Right takes the shots and Reginald calls them. Both of them had something the other didn’t, and they truly completed each other in a way that Terrence could never do for his former right hand.

Right is nothing but wholly devoted. He would do anything just to keep his husband happy. He never liked kids, but Reginald wanted to raise Henry as his own and Right ended up a better father than Terrence could even dream of being.

“If you wanted to see him again, you should have raised him so that he didn't despise you for being nothing but a deadbeat,” Reginald breaks the silence. “Henry left us for ten years and still sees us as his fathers—more so than you will _ever_ be to him. You will stay here until we find you too pathetic to be alive. If you ever see _my_ son again, it will be on _his_ terms, not yours.”

All of his words sting in ways unimaginable but not unfelt. Terrence wants to be mad at Reginald. He really does. Bitter feelings from a failed romance bubble up in his throat, and he wants to yell all of them out into his face until it leaves him frozen in distress. And he is mad, yes, but he's not mad at who he wants to be mad at, who he wants to hate so badly after everything even though he knows it's better this way. No, Terrence is mad at himself of all people for being this way. For not knowing how to handle responsibility, whether it’s the responsibility of being a leader or a father or a lover, and making everyone else suffer for his own incompetence and cowardice. Because it was easier to let everyone else take the fall.

But now there’s no one else left to fall back on. He has been pushing everyone towards hell his entire life, and now it's his turn to fall. This, he knows, is what he deserves, but it doesn't hurt any less.

Terrence does not say anything back to Reginald and Right, just hanging his head down in shame. They take that as their cue to leave, but they are stopped once some footsteps come towards the cells. He hears a faint “oh!” come from Reginald as they get closer.

“Oh, I… I hadn't been expecting you to come so soon!” Reginald says. “He doesn't have anything valuable on him, thankfully, and we were able to get his motive for messing with our raid out of him fairly quickly. So I guess this meeting is… very good timing.”

Terrence doesn't need to look up to know who's at the cell door. He knows it's him, and probably some other Toppats he dragged with him, and he knows he isn't happy to see him. Terrence doesn't want to look up, he desperately doesn't want to see the expression of disgust upon his son’s face that he _knows_ is because of him. God, he's a coward. He wishes Reginald had just killed him instead of leaving him in The Wall.

He sighs, breathing in one last breath of something savory and lifts his head up. He's brought two other Toppats with him—Thomas and Sven specifically, with Sven holding onto the leader’s hand with their fingers intertwined. At least something good had happened to him while he was gone. But the real reason he's here is for the person in the middle; the leader, the chief, the Toppat King, a new golden age that Terrence could never bring to the Toppats.

Terrence looks at Henry. Henry is not happy to see him.

“Henry,” Terrence starts, trying as hard as possible to sound heartfelt instead of anxious. “Wow, you… You've grown so much since I last saw you. You look really handsome in that suit. And, the hat is such a nice addition too!”

Henry does not respond to him. An awkward silence hangs in the air for a moment.

“Aha, not really one for conversation these days, are you?” he says. “That's fine, I've seen your name in the papers. I know you can't really… talk. If you need a translator, that's fine! Take your time.”

He remains silent. The realization that all four of the others in that room could serve as translators hits him a little too late. All of the eyes of those around Henry remain latched onto him. Terrence laughs nervously.

“Yeah, great! Uh, listen, I wanted to ask something about someone. You, uh, you freed a prisoner, didn't you? Some irrelevant ex-security guard or something? Well, normally I'd be upset about that, but I don't have a reason to be anymore! Congratulations on finding him a better life!”

Silence. He must have gotten too close to personal relationships territory. Terrence coughs into his hand.

“Wow. This is, heh, kind of… awkward? We're not really getting anywhere!” he remarks, letting out one last nervous laugh to ease himself. “That's… that's fine, though. I understand. It's been… too long, hasn't it?”

He knows there won’t be any response from Henry. He just wishes someone else would say something already.

“How… how have you been?” he asks, sincerely, for once in his life.

And Henry _does_ respond this time, an answer laced in so much loathing and vitriol accented by his scratchy voice: “Better than I’ll _ever_ be with you.”

Oh, wow. He didn't hesitate either. Terrence feels shaken to his core.

“Oh, my! Is that a hole in the cell door?” Thomas points out, with his glare immediately going back to being focused on Terrence. “What did you do?”

“Said a name,” Right answers. Almost immediately everyone understands, and all the noises they make are nothing short of pure disgust. Terrence shrinks in on himself.

“God, you know you have a lot of nerve to be saying that to someone who wants you dead, right?” Sven says. “I was hoping somehow you’d accidentally get yourself killed before we ever saw you again, but nope. You’ve lived up to this moment. For now.”

“I'm sorry about that one, Right. I didn't mean it! I didn't think you'd react like that,” Terrence defends himself with.

“Highly doubt that,” Right retorts.

“It’s the truth!”

“No it’s not.”

“C’mon, Right! You know I’m terrible at lying, and I’m not lying right now!”

“That absolutely just makes you look worse, you know,” Sven cuts in.

“He's always been bad at lying, so I know for sure he’s lying right now,” Thomas adds.

“This is _not_ what I came here for,” Terrence stops all conversation. “I didn't come here to have all of you on my ass about how bad of a person I am. Tell me something I don't know for once! I am here. To talk. To my son-”

And Henry immediately spits, _“Don’t_ call me that.”

All conversation comes to a halt immediately. If it wasn't visible before, it's extremely visible now just how _angry_ Henry is about all of this. It's an anger that hangs in the air and chokes Terrence up, both physically and metaphorically. He doesn't think he can get another word out. Reginald moves over to Henry to put his hands on his shoulders, and Sven rubs his thumb against Henry’s. They're trying to calm him down. Terrence had made him so upset that they needed to calm him down.

“Henry, don't waste your voice on this man,” Reginald advises him. “He isn't worth it. Just talk to him about what you need to, and we’ll translate for you.”

Henry breathes in, then out, and nods his head. Reginald takes his hands off of his shoulders, but Sven does not let go of his hand until Henry shakes his arm to let go.

Henry signs something with a stern expression on his face, one that Terrence immediately registers as him not taking any nonsense or fucking around. He recognizes that face all too well—Reginald always looked that way when they talked.

“You will give him direct answers only,” Sven translates. “If you try to skirt away from any topic or stay silent on any questions, we will not hesitate to eject you somewhere else. And it _won’t_ be a place you can survive this time.”

Terrence swallows and nods in understanding. Henry’s expression does not change. He signs something, to which Reginald responds, “We’ve already asked him that, Henry.”

“I want to hear it from him,” he says out loud.

Reginald nods in understanding, turning to Terrence. “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to see Henry,” he admits. “I heard you became the leader. I wanted to catch up after everything. I thought that they hadn’t… told you.”

“You were wrong,” Henry replies.

“I know.”

He scoffs. He signs something else, and this time Sven translates, “Where were you?”

“I was locked up at The Wall. Got knocked unconscious and stuffed in an escape pod headed there,” he answers. “You can thank your dear, lesser dad for that one.”

“Excuse me? Lesser?!” Reginald echoes in rage. He readies himself for a fight, but Right holds him back before he can do anything against Terrence. He doesn't feel any satisfaction in seeing him held back. It isn't to protect him, it's only because Henry hasn't deemed violence necessary. Yet.

Henry signs another question, which Sven translates as, “Did you steal anything during the raid?”

“No. I wasn't going to. There wouldn't have been a point in it if I was trying to get captured by you.”

He signs something again, and Reginald asks him, “How did you know about the prisoner—Dave?”

“Heard a rumor from some Toppats that were on the ground before the station launched. I looked into it myself, and it's apparently a really hot topic in Red Mesa.”

Henry rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. It must not be such a hot topic for him. There must be an invasion of privacy on the prisoner’s end.

Henry signs something short, which Right curtly says as, “Last question.”

Terrence nods and gulps.

He signs something again, and Reginald asks, “Why did you leave?”

He wishes he had a real, solid answer to that.

They're all expecting one from him. They want to know what justification someone like Terrence could possibly have for his actions. Why did Terrence make so many awful decisions during his reign? Why did Terrence never listen to the people around him? Why was Terrence so awful at love? Why did Terrence leave behind the only trace of family he'd ever have?

The thing is that he doesn't have a justification for why, because there is nothing to justify. The amount of people he's killed or has gotten killed will never be shed in a sympathetic light just because he tells them all his deepest fears and insecurities. They all have their fears too, but they were managing. What was his excuse?

So what if he was thrust into the position of leader after the death of the only person he could really say cared about him? He had every opportunity to give it up to someone far more capable. He knew he should have done that, it would be the smart thing to do, but there was something so uniquely shameful and weak about resigning a position to someone who is better than you in every way and knows it. And Terrence did not want to look weak when he had promised Wilford in his dying moments he would make him proud.

He doubts he made him proud, anyways. So many people he let down. So many people who died because of his recklessness. So many people hating him for having power he didn't know what to do with.

Too many people that he loves dearly either hating or pitying him. He isn't sure which one is worse. But he knows they do not love him back.

“Terrence,” Thomas calls to him, “you haven't answered his question yet.”

“I don't know what you want me to say,” Terrence tells him.

“I want the truth,” Henry speaks out, every hushed and hoarse word cutting against him like glass. “All of it.”

Henry has cut him open with a single shard of glass, dissecting him with the most painful material possible just to open him up as much as he can. All around him are their stares, judging and calculating and scrutinizing and every possible synonym that means they only want to watch him break. They do not feel sorry for him. They shouldn’t, not even Terrence feels sorry for himself, but he desperately wishes their fixed gazes even tried to conceal what they feel for him now.

Sven’s gaze is the least harsh, but it isn't merciful either. Him and Henry were close, closer than any of the other kids on the airship. He would always see how Sven would latch onto his hand or arm or shoulder or anything he could hold to keep him close. He must have been devastated when Henry left on his own. He must have been angry when he learned about him and Terrence. He looks at him like discarded waste that he can't believe has stained the one he loves with anger.

Thomas looks at him so pitifully that it almost hurts. He was the first one to know about Henry; he was the only one he wanted to know, but then fate found a way to make him face his actions head-on and deal with the guilt. He kept all his secrets, all the things he was ashamed to tell anyone else because he broke Reginald's heart and Wilford wasn't around to hear it in its rawest confession. How many secrets must he have kept for him? And how many did he reveal to the rightful new leaders when the time came? Thomas knew very well Terrence got what he had coming for him, but he still looks at him as though there is something in him that can be salvaged. They both know there isn't. He wishes he just hated him.

Reginald and Right, two halves of a whole, both look at him with such a harsh glare in their own ways, and they hurt equally. Right stares at him with intent to kill; he is the machine. There is a rage inside of him for all Terrence has done to his family and his love that is ever apparent despite his silence. He gave himself a new name just to prove how much he loved his husband, to prove how much better at loving he is. Reginald stares at him with contempt so visible he can almost reach out and touch it; he is the mask. He was once the closest person to Terrence, he was once someone in love, but things went downhill fast and he had to be dragged along for all of it. He was there for all of it, all of the deaths and the raids and the near-ends of the Toppat Clan, so it was only fitting he had to be the one to end his terrible reign. Two halves of a whole, two wildly different people, two looks of judgement and bitterness that burn a hole in his chest.

And then there is Henry. There is nothing he needs to elaborate on, and nothing he could elaborate on with his absence for most of Henry’s life. He has no sympathy for the man that still calls himself his father and left him behind because he was too ashamed and cowardly to ask for help from anyone. He looks at him with pure hatred.

Terrence does not speak a word. He does not confess his reasons, he does not let himself be cut open further, he does not give them the closure that they—that _he_ wants. It is not because he wants them all to suffer further. His cowardice is just too strong to truly fight against. He is making them suffer further even after he was supposed to be gone.

His silence speaks volumes. Henry makes a swift motion of his hand then turns around, and even he knows what it means; send him down and make him suffer something worse. Terrence closes his eyes shut and breathes in for the eventual send-off.

“I’m sorry, Henry,” he finally lets out. “I loved you. You still mean so much to me. Please don't forgive me.”

Henry turns back around, with that glare still focused on him and still full of hatred, but almost toned down. It's deceiving, it's making him believe that there is some hope left for him that someone who used to be his son still cares even a little about him.

“I never will.”

Terrence’s hopes drown along with him inside of the escape pod, sinking in the harsh, cold ocean of a prison he wasn't meant to escape.

**Author's Note:**

> i really do love terrence, but i am not a fan of most fans' interpretations of him! i don't like seeing him being completely demonized, but i don't think he was exactly the greatest person either. i also used to hate interpretations of terrence where he was henry's father, but then i realized i could make it work with my own canon, so here we are.
> 
> thanks for reading!


End file.
